Granny Squares Anonymous

What, is it just not hooking season any more?

2005-06-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been a bad crocheter.

But I can be forgiven (I hope), since I've been trying to graduate from my M.Ed. program.

Shameless Plug (and some actual crochet progress!)

2005-05-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

I made a washcloth today while watching House. Go me!

However, this is for something much more important. Sister is training to run a marathon. Let me just tell you, my family is not designed to run long distances. We're more along the lines of talking our way out of the fight, not fleeing the scene. And she's doing it to raise money for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation (which is kinda funny, since she's running in Washington, DC...)

Anyway, while Sister and I agree on very few things, this is a charity close to both our hearts, so if you could send her even five bucks please click here. And if people donate, I promise ~~not~~ to scan embarrassing pictures of her and post them on the Internets. *nods*

My Friends <3 Me

2005-04-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

Still no hooking being done over here. Depression sucks. I don't recommend it at all.

But my friends, they love me. Even the ones who won't take up crocheting 'cause they think it'll make them gayer than they are (yes, I am looking at YOU, N). They find me links like Thread Bared, which really must be seen to be giggled heartily at.

Oh well, what the ever.

Bandwidth Stealing is superbaduncool, yo.

2005-04-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

If you see a pretty picture on the Internet and want to share it with the world, you MUST RIGHT CLICK IT AND SAVE IT TO YOUR OWN COMPUTER, THEN SAVE IT TO SOMETHING LIKE PHOTOBUCKET!

If you put the image directly on your blog/webpage by linking with img src, you are STEALING.

And if you are one of the people who shall remain nameless what did this to me, you're now seeing this:

Grr. Argh.

2005-04-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a bad few weeks. Bad to the point where I haven't picked up a single hook. I keep telling myself to do something simple, stupid, and fast, but I have the attention span of a gnat right now.

So, uhm... monkeys.

I'm a giant Poofter

2005-04-03T01:45:00.000-08:00

So there's new Crochet Me! patterns up, which always elicits a YAYYIPPIEYAHOO! But I had twenty bucks slipped me from my Mother for Easter and decided to spend it at Michael's on some Sugar 'n Cream so I could make the Poofs.

I like making Poofs. They're fun. They go well with watching Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams while listening to Robert Rodriguez's commentary (and if you're a creative person, you really need to listen to his commnetary. But fast forward through the ham story).

Mine are solid baby blue on a white background and the two I've completed will likely go to variuos people who have helped me greatly in my quest to become a teacher (a third one that will be compelted soon will go to my mom for Mother's Day).

No pictures, 'cause the digicam is out of whack.

Other than that, my WIPs have no extra yarn in them yet, and will proabably languish in the WIP basket until I run out of Sugar 'n Cream.

Crocheted Womb Pattern

2005-03-25T08:35:00.000-08:00

Durf, post the pictures Mary Sue, but forget to put up the pattern!

Crocheted Womb Pattern (adapted by Mary Sue from pattern by MK Carroll, http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html)

Materials:
Any worsted-weight yarn
Crochet hook size N/10.00mm or size required to get gauge
Stitch marker
2 pipe cleaners
scrap yarn or stuffing

Gauge:
12 sc = 2.5"

Row 1: ch 12, sl st to join in circle. Place stitch marker to identify start of rounds.
Rows 2-5: ch 1 (will count as first sc from here on), sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 12 sc.
Row 6: ch 1, sc in back loop only of each st. sl st to join in back loop of original ch. 12 sc.
Rows 7-10: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 12 sc.
Row 11: ch 1, (sc, 2sc in next sc) until reaching the original ch, sl st to join in original ch. 18 sc.
Row 12: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 18 sc.
Rows 13-14: repeat rows 11-12 (24 sc)
Row 15: Repeat row 11 once more (30 sc)
Rows 16-20: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 30 sc.
Rnd 21: ch 1, 2sc in next stitch, *6sc , 2sc in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 34 sc.
Rnd 22: ch 1, sc in next stitch, 2sc in next stitch, sc, *6sc , 2sc in next stitch, sc* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 40 sc.
Rnd 23: ch 1, 2sc in next stitch, *8sc , 2sc in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 46 sc.
Rnd 24: ch 1, sc in all sts.

Form Cervix
From top of work, slide crochet hook into 6-st tube, catch end of tube (beg of work), and pull up inside tube until purled row forms base of tube. Push down gently on inner tube to make cervix look plump ("pouty", if you will). Sew in place using yarn tail from ch.

Rnd 25: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *8sc , sc2tog* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 40 sc.
Rnd 26: ch 1, sc in next stitch, sc2tog in next stitch, sc, *6sc , sc2tog in next stitch, sc* three times, then sc in next 4 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 34 sc.
Rnd 27: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *4sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 3 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 28 sc.
Rnd 28: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *2sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 2 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 22 sc.
Rnd 29: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next stitch, sl st to join in ch1. 16 sc.
Rnd 30: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch. sc2tog in rest of the stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 8 sc.
Rnd 31: ch 1, sc all stitches. sl st to join in ch1. 8sc. Remove st marker. Cut yarn, leaving 12 inch tail, thread tail through rem sts. DO NOT pull tail tight to fasten off at this point.

Fallopian Tubes (Make 2)
Row 1: ch 8, sl st to join in circle. Place stitch marker to identify start of rounds.
Rows 2-5: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 6: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 6. Sl st to join to ch1. 7 sts.
Rows 7-11: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 12: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 5. Sl st to join to ch1. 6 sts.
Rows 12-15: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 16: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 4. Sl st to join to ch1. 5 sts.
Rows 17-24: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.

Cut yarn, leaving a 20-inch tail. Thread yarn on tapestry needle and draw through rem sts, pull tight. Use yarn tails to sew loops (see photo). Use yarn to tie a small knot around one st, draw rem yarn tail down through tube and cut end.

FINISHING
Stuff body until it feels firm but cuddly. Pull yarn end at top of body to close, fasten off and weave in end.
Bend tip of each pipe cleaner over (about .25 inches). Slide each pipe cleaner, bent end first, into a fallopian tube, working from the CO end up to loop fringed end. Leaving 2.5 to 3 inches projecting from the cast on end, cut excess pipe cleaner. Position tubes on body, pushing ends of pipe cleaners into body. Using pins or coilless safety pins, secure tubes to body, gently spreading out bases of tubes. Sew into place and remove pins.
Weave in all ends.
Gently bend fallopian tubes forward into a curve, or however you wish to pose them.

What I did on my Spring Vacay part 4

2005-03-24T20:52:00.000-08:00

Yeah. That's pretty much the it.

How to Run a Peep Joust*

1. Gather the combatants, weaponry, and safety equipment. Because hot marshmallow causes severe scalds.

2. Prepare the combatants for battle.

3. Nuke the buggers (in the microwave).

4. Wait for the combatants to cool down, then consume them. Watch out for the weapons.

So, back to crocheting, I got about four more rows on my shawl, then promptly fell asleep on the couch while watching Hellboy. But I did finally get the pictures of the uterus I crocheted for my friend. Her specialty is STDs and Reproductive Health, so it's appropo.

---------------
English as a Second Language for Britons and other foreign-types
*Peeps: Small marshmallow confectionaries covered in neon coloured sugar sold during the springtime.

Spring Vay-cay part the Third

2005-03-23T21:38:00.000-08:00

Look! A wrist bag!

G hook and various shades of Red Heart/Carom One Pound.

Theoretically, that black thing on the bottom is a star, but since the accursed bag caused me so much trouble (never again will I sc with a G hook) and I just can't seem to get the star to go right, I said a naughty word and just tacked it on. And *I* think it looks cool, so there!

Spring Vacation part 2

2005-03-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

Started a couple of things, but the only hooking project that got done was a cozy for my dearly beloved what once was lost iPod Shuffle.

F hook and two strands of Coats and Clark #10 cotton (in blue and cream, natch).

Thereby proving that if it will hold still long enough, I will crochet a cozy for it.

Presently have the Mobius scarf wrapped around head & neck, as Spring seems to be on vacation and has gotten Winter to sub for it. Brrr.

What I Did on My Spring Vacation: Day 1

2005-03-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

Whee! My very first ever thread crochet project! And it's a Snowflake Monday!

Coats and Clark #10 and a #7 steel hook while watching Kill Bill.

Mobius Scarf: Carom Simply Soft and a J hook while watching Spy Kids 3D and Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

Right now I'm tackling the yarn barf of doom in between checking various blogs, et cetera.

Miss Edith has been naughty and will have no cake today.

2005-03-20T15:18:00.000-08:00

I crocheted a second womb (looong story)... and totally forgot to take pictures.

ETA: I posted this, then checked my phone. My friend apparently had left her uterus under the couch. So I have it on hand now, and can take pictures. Later.

Da, vodka.

2005-03-15T17:54:00.000-08:00

And I have used up my store of Russian for the day.

But anyway, through this, that, and the other link, I discovered this site that has some amazing crochet pattern pieces. Clicky the linky and it's already 'translated' into English. The bad news is: Not very well, and hook sizes don't seem to come across very well. The good news is: the patterns are mostly charts.

Whaddya mean you can't read a crochet chart?? Le sigh.

A + is a single crochet. A long, cross looking thing is a double. If the cross had two bars, it's treble. If there's a dot or an open circle, it's a chain. If it looks like a bunch of sticks attached to an oval, it's a cluster (number of sticks equal number of stitches in the cluster). Any more questions? just ask.

Free Xiomaro!

2005-03-14T14:45:00.000-08:00

From here:

A Final Note: On March 11, 2005, The New York Post reported that Xiomaro Hernandez crocheted the now-famous poncho for Martha Stewart in the minimum-security prison camp in Alderson, W. Va. We at Interweave Press hope that Ms. Hernandez knows how appreciative the crochet audience is of the national spotlight that her gift and creativity have inspired. Our Freedom Poncho is a result of that inspiration. Interweave Press is also donating subscriptions to several of its magazines along with a variety of its knitting and crochet books to the prison facility in Alderson, W. Va.

So from now on I don't want to hear no more crap about 'Martha's Poncho', you dig? It's Xiomaro's Poncho, you monkeys.

In other news, A List

Days until Easter: 13

Days until the Spring Equinox: 6

Days until I see people I need to give Equinox/Easter gifts to: 4

Number of ducks needed: 6. No, wait, 7, my roommate was lusting after one.

Number of ducks crocheted: 2.5

Number of hours I spent coming up with original crocheted duck design: 5

Number of times I've decided to do the duck body pattern a wee bit differently: 3

Number of evenings this week that I'm AWOL: 4

Number of people who are probably going to get their ducks on time: 2

Number of pictures of said ducks I've taken in case I write the pattern down: 1 bazillion

One ringy-dingy...

2005-03-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

*beeeeeep*

Hello. I'm not available at the moment, I am downstairs on my couch with a 7 hook and 2000 yards of white cotton attempting to make a shawl before Palm Sunday. Please leave your name, important message, and any tribute after the tone. Thank you for calling.

*beeeeeeep*

Pretty, Pretty Pictures

2005-03-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

Now there's a link waaay over there ===> to a spiffy new gallery of my projects. Not all are up yet, but there's some, including the beginnings of an original pattern for a ducky doll, being made in Red Heart Mexicana (known to some in the fiber arts world as the fugliest yarn in the 'verse).

I'm also contemplating doing a sweater. Since the weather in my part of the world has gone to the mid-80s F. *shrug*

I also picked up a buttload of #10 cotton 'cause it was on sale, and am now having to learn how to thread crochet. Oh. Darn. I'm so... uh, sad, about that. Yeah.

XBox Controller Bra

2005-03-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

ETA: Yo solo hablo un poquito de Espanol. Discubre que este blog estaba muy famoso para un poquito amountar de tiempo. Este proyecto estaba un chisme. Me hace esto, es verdad, pero no usarlo con mi XBox.

New blog, new pattern. I'm attempting to get some pictures up, but so far it's not working.

ETA: Pictures available at http://www.angelfire.com/freak/sheep/xbox/

XBox Controller Bra
Pattern created and copyrighted 2005 by Mary Sue Renfrow (m.s.renfrow@netzero.net). Pattern may be distributed freely for non-commercial use as long as author's name and email address are included with the pattern.

Materials
1 skein Carom Simply Soft or any other sport weight yarn
I (9.00mm) hook or hook size required to get gauge

Gauge
1" = 4 sc

Note: There are different sized XBox controllers floating around out there, so be sure to size your controller! Mine is 5"l x 6"h.

Sides
You will make two of these, on one working in back loop only, in the other working in front loop only. Turn one of them inside out, and you will have both sides!

Foundation (Row 1): Ch 2, sc 5 into the first ch, sl st to join. 6 sc.

Row 2: Ch 1 (counts as first sc from now on), sc in same stitch as ch 1, (2sc in each sc), repeat until you reach the beginning, sl st to join. 12 sc.

Row 3: Ch 1, *sc, 2sc in next sc, repeat from * five more times, sl st to join. 18 sc.

Row 4-7: Ch 1, sc in each sc around, sl st to join. 18 sc.

Row 8: Ch 1, sc in next 4 sc, 2sc in next sc, *sc next 5, 2sc in next sc, repeat from * one more time, sl st to join. 21 sc.

Row 9: Ch 1, sc in next 5 sc, 2sc in next sc, *sc next 6, 2sc in next sc, repeat from * one more time, sl st to join. 24 sc.

Row 10: Ch 1, sc in next 19 sc, and turn. Place a marker here to remind you where you turned. 20 sc.

Row 11: Ch 1, sc in next 19 sc, then drop down and sc in both loops of the first two skipped stitches on row 9. Turn. 22 sc.

Row 12: Ch 1, sc in next 18 sc, sc2tog, and turn. 20 sc.

Row 13: Ch 1, sc in next 15 sc, sc2tog, and turn. 17 sc.

Row 14: Ch 1, sc2tog, sc in next 14 sc, and turn. 16 sc.

Row 15: Ch 1, sc in next 8 sc, sc2tog, turn. 10 sc.

Row 16: Ch 1, sc in next 8 sc, turn. 9 sc.

Row 17: Ch 1, sc2tog, sc in next 4 sc, sc2tog, turn. 7 sc.

Row 18: Ch 1, sc2tog, sc in next 3 sc, sc2tog, turn. 5 sc.

Row 19-21: Ch 1, sc in all sc across, turn. 5 sc.

Strap

On the second side piece, do not break yarn. Turn one of your sides inside out so they are opposite of each other. Ch 15, sl st to join to matching corner of the other piece. Sl st across top, ch 15. Sl st to join to opposite corner of other side. Break yarn, weave in ends.

This is designed to keep out of the way of any memory cards or headsets plugged into the top of your controller; if you're poor like me, you can simply continue Row 19 until it reaches across the top of your controller, then use a yarn needle to stitch the pieces together.

The fastest way to get this bad boy on your controller is to unplug it from the console, thread the cord through the space between the two straps, and then slide it onto the handpieces.