Friday, March 25, 2005

Crocheted Womb Pattern

Durf, post the pictures Mary Sue, but forget to put up the pattern!

Crocheted Womb Pattern (adapted by Mary Sue from pattern by MK Carroll, http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html)

Materials:
Any worsted-weight yarn
Crochet hook size N/10.00mm or size required to get gauge
Stitch marker
2 pipe cleaners
scrap yarn or stuffing

Gauge:
12 sc = 2.5"

Row 1: ch 12, sl st to join in circle. Place stitch marker to identify start of rounds.
Rows 2-5: ch 1 (will count as first sc from here on), sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 12 sc.
Row 6: ch 1, sc in back loop only of each st. sl st to join in back loop of original ch. 12 sc.
Rows 7-10: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 12 sc.
Row 11: ch 1, (sc, 2sc in next sc) until reaching the original ch, sl st to join in original ch. 18 sc.
Row 12: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 18 sc.
Rows 13-14: repeat rows 11-12 (24 sc)
Row 15: Repeat row 11 once more (30 sc)
Rows 16-20: ch 1, sc in each st. sl st to join in original ch. 30 sc.
Rnd 21: ch 1, 2sc in next stitch, *6sc , 2sc in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 34 sc.
Rnd 22: ch 1, sc in next stitch, 2sc in next stitch, sc, *6sc , 2sc in next stitch, sc* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 40 sc.
Rnd 23: ch 1, 2sc in next stitch, *8sc , 2sc in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 46 sc.
Rnd 24: ch 1, sc in all sts.

Form Cervix
From top of work, slide crochet hook into 6-st tube, catch end of tube (beg of work), and pull up inside tube until purled row forms base of tube. Push down gently on inner tube to make cervix look plump ("pouty", if you will). Sew in place using yarn tail from ch.

Rnd 25: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *8sc , sc2tog* three times, then sc in next 5 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 40 sc.
Rnd 26: ch 1, sc in next stitch, sc2tog in next stitch, sc, *6sc , sc2tog in next stitch, sc* three times, then sc in next 4 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 34 sc.
Rnd 27: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *4sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 3 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 28 sc.
Rnd 28: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *2sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next 2 stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 22 sc.
Rnd 29: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch, *sc, sc2tog in next stitch* three times, then sc in next stitch, sl st to join in ch1. 16 sc.
Rnd 30: ch 1, sc2tog in next stitch. sc2tog in rest of the stitches, sl st to join in ch1. 8 sc.
Rnd 31: ch 1, sc all stitches. sl st to join in ch1. 8sc. Remove st marker. Cut yarn, leaving 12 inch tail, thread tail through rem sts. DO NOT pull tail tight to fasten off at this point.

Fallopian Tubes (Make 2)
Row 1: ch 8, sl st to join in circle. Place stitch marker to identify start of rounds.
Rows 2-5: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 6: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 6. Sl st to join to ch1. 7 sts.
Rows 7-11: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 12: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 5. Sl st to join to ch1. 6 sts.
Rows 12-15: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.
Row 16: ch 1, sc2tog, sc 4. Sl st to join to ch1. 5 sts.
Rows 17-24: ch 1, sc in all stitches. sl st to join in circle.

Cut yarn, leaving a 20-inch tail. Thread yarn on tapestry needle and draw through rem sts, pull tight. Use yarn tails to sew loops (see photo). Use yarn to tie a small knot around one st, draw rem yarn tail down through tube and cut end.


FINISHING
Stuff body until it feels firm but cuddly. Pull yarn end at top of body to close, fasten off and weave in end.
Bend tip of each pipe cleaner over (about .25 inches). Slide each pipe cleaner, bent end first, into a fallopian tube, working from the CO end up to loop fringed end. Leaving 2.5 to 3 inches projecting from the cast on end, cut excess pipe cleaner. Position tubes on body, pushing ends of pipe cleaners into body. Using pins or coilless safety pins, secure tubes to body, gently spreading out bases of tubes. Sew into place and remove pins.
Weave in all ends.
Gently bend fallopian tubes forward into a curve, or however you wish to pose them.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

What I did on my Spring Vacay part 4

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Yeah. That's pretty much the it.

How to Run a Peep Joust*

1. Gather the combatants, weaponry, and safety equipment. Because hot marshmallow causes severe scalds.

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2. Prepare the combatants for battle.

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3. Nuke the buggers (in the microwave).

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4. Wait for the combatants to cool down, then consume them. Watch out for the weapons.


So, back to crocheting, I got about four more rows on my shawl, then promptly fell asleep on the couch while watching Hellboy. But I did finally get the pictures of the uterus I crocheted for my friend. Her specialty is STDs and Reproductive Health, so it's appropo.

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English as a Second Language for Britons and other foreign-types
*Peeps: Small marshmallow confectionaries covered in neon coloured sugar sold during the springtime.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Spring Vay-cay part the Third

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Look! A wrist bag!

G hook and various shades of Red Heart/Carom One Pound.

Theoretically, that black thing on the bottom is a star, but since the accursed bag caused me so much trouble (never again will I sc with a G hook) and I just can't seem to get the star to go right, I said a naughty word and just tacked it on. And *I* think it looks cool, so there!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Spring Vacation part 2

Started a couple of things, but the only hooking project that got done was a cozy for my dearly beloved what once was lost iPod Shuffle.

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F hook and two strands of Coats and Clark #10 cotton (in blue and cream, natch).

Thereby proving that if it will hold still long enough, I will crochet a cozy for it.

Presently have the Mobius scarf wrapped around head & neck, as Spring seems to be on vacation and has gotten Winter to sub for it. Brrr.

Monday, March 21, 2005

What I Did on My Spring Vacation: Day 1

Whee! My very first ever thread crochet project! And it's a Snowflake Monday!

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Coats and Clark #10 and a #7 steel hook while watching Kill Bill.

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Mobius Scarf: Carom Simply Soft and a J hook while watching Spy Kids 3D and Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

Right now I'm tackling the yarn barf of doom in between checking various blogs, et cetera.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Miss Edith has been naughty and will have no cake today.

I crocheted a second womb (looong story)... and totally forgot to take pictures.

ETA: I posted this, then checked my phone. My friend apparently had left her uterus under the couch. So I have it on hand now, and can take pictures. Later.